Click the panic button if your boss is coming!!

Three Black Men and one Black Woman's Sacrifice

Two black men and one lone black woman were holding on to a rope hanging from a helicopter.  The rope could not hold all three, so they decided that one of them must let go to save the rest.  No one wanted to let go, so the lone black woman sighed right before she made a heart tearing speech.  She said "I am willing to let go and fall to my death in order to save the rest of you.  You see, all my life I have made sacrifices for black men. I've sacrificed for my father, my brothers, my husband and my sons.".  With such great relief, the two black men who were holding the rope started to clap.

 

 

 

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The Black Woman and the Wedding Dress

A young black woman was getting married, she found out that her father's young wife was planning to wear an identical dress to what her mother recently purchased to wear the day of the wedding. She asked her father's young wife to reconsider wearing that particular dress. Her father's young wife declined, and further declared that she would look much better in the dress oppose to the bride's own mother. The young bride was horrified and went to her mother with eyes full of tears. She asked her mother if she should perhaps un-invite her father and his wife in order to solve the problem. The young bride's mother was a wise black woman with stunning beauty and grace. The mother told her daughter not to worry, she will simply purchase another dress to wear the day of the wedding. The young bride got concerned and said "Mother, that dress cost you so much money. If you buy another, where will you ever get the chance to wear the first"  The mother smiled and said, "I'm going to wear the dress, I'll wear it at the dinner rehearsal, the night before the actual wedding".

 

 

 

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If an elderly black woman says she's broke, she's broke!!

An elderly black woman answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the elderly black woman. "I haven't got any money!", "I'm broke!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder. The elderly black woman stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning." What part of broke do you not understand?

 

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 The Little White Boy

There was once a poor elderly black woman that lived alone in a run down house. Everyday after school, a little white boy would pass by and yell out racial insults to her. One day the little boy decided to hide under the elderly woman's porch, in hopes of jumping out and seriously startling her to death. Instead, he heard her say a prayer. "Dear Lord, I'm so hungry. But I know you will have food on my door step tomorrow and I will do a dance for you with these old tired feet of mine". The little white boy was maliciously ecstatic after hearing this, he had a plan.

The next day he gathered food from his home and told his friends to follow him after school. He told them the old foolish black woman thinks that God listens to her, and she will do a dance so they all can laugh. As planned, the boy place the food on her door step and they all hid under her porch. The elderly black lady came out and saw the food. With glee, she said very loudly; "Lord, you are so mighty that you answer all prayers. Not only did you send food as I prayed, but your powers are so mighty that you  made the devil bring it himself".

 

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The Black Woman and the Genie's lamp

One day a black woman went for a walk along the beach. She stumbled upon a Genie lamp, she rubbed it and the Genie came floating out. He told her that he was very old and she could only have one wish. Immediately the black woman wished for world peace which would include - no more global warming, no hunger/poverty, no crimes, no more wars, and happiness for everyone in the world.

The Genie cringed and said "I told you I am old, a wish like that could drain my powers and destroy me for all eternity. Try something more practical please!"

The Black woman thought hard, then finally she wished for a good man, preferably a black man. A black man that would cherish her, appreciate her, stay faithful, tend to her every needs, and spend all his spare time at home with their future family. The Genie made a long sigh and asked,  "What was that first wish again?".

 

 

 

 

If A Men Got Pregnant...

* Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
* There'd be a cure for stretch marks
* Natural childbirth would become obsolete
* Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem
* All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effective.
* Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained
* Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment
* They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute
* Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 7: 00pm
* Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags
* They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
* Paternity suits would be a line of clothes
* They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months
* Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree
* Women would rule the world!

 

 

 

 

 

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